Let go… to find something better.

If there’s something I’ve learned during my 19years on earth It’s that one should let go even if they’re scared about going after something new . People are usually satisfied when they reach a secure place in life, but why not go one step further to find that perfect place they never thought of.

I’m letting this blog go to see what waits for me im my new one  at www.teta2.bloggspot.com . It feels strange to suddenly leave this blog that I had given so much time and energi, I had a hard time letting it go, but I’m still taking that step I’m movig on!

Don’t let me miss you, feel free to visit my new blog =) www.teta2.blogspot.com

I lost count on all the goodbyes I’ve had to say this year, and it never gets easier but I get over it after shreding a pile of tears, killing my head thinking about my loss or just ignore it and live in denile. At least I try to tell myself that it ends there that it no longer can hurt me in anyway.

My first thought is always the same when someone whom I cared for or gave attention to get out of my life. ” why dwell on it, you can’t do anything about it be calm think wisely”. Yukh so sick of it! Why do I do that why can’t I be like anyother girl an just be sad not for to seconds but to really be sad as long as I feel sad. Getting complicated ha? You should be inside my head! I just wish I could dwell on it that I can cry nomatter who’s standing next to me no matter where Iam and stop just pretending to be okay. Never gonna happen but, well I can always hope. =)

Because loosing a person weather it’s temporary or forever is something that gives you a scar.  To come to the point Hala I hate you for leaving and I’m only forgiving you because inshallah I’ll see you in April and also because you left me my two precious sisters. Gonna miss ya alot Festis!!! And Kick some LIU ass!

This is something I really want, I worked my but of despite of being sick to finnish it on time. I Finally handed over the cover for our school photocatalog today and I really hope like never before to see my design on this years catalog. I do though have lots of fear because my classmates are really good at what they do to and I don’t really feel as if I had the time to analyse my work more.

But I made the best of my 5 hours that I had to finish the cover so i don’t have any regrets. I’m just hoping for the best and praying for my cover to be chosen. Wish me luck!

Thanks favorites for my pretty gifts you rock!!! They were really perfect, you know me to well!

My alarm clock woke me up as usual, but this time in a diffrent place, in Sara’s livingroom with Hala sleeping on a madrass next to the tv. It took me a second or two before remembering that I slept over at her place, on her couch and it took me 10 minutes to finally decide not to skip school. I tried so hard to find a reason for me to stay and I had one a very good one actually.

I wanted to stay to save some quality time for Hala since she’s living soon, to soon I can’t belive how fast the time flew by. I went to school five minutes earlier than needed to the graphicdesign lesson that I love. I felt as if my head was empty with no ideas at all and thought about how I could have stayed at Sara’s. I eventually created something really nice.

I don’t regret going to school even though a fever suddenly attacked me. I felt as if a war was being held in my throat the whole day. Hehe the cold that never really left my system became stronger than ever, but the green tea that I’m drinking  now is helping big time so that’s gooD! =D

I took another nap at Sara’s after finishing classes, I was to tired to keep my eyes open, I fell asleep not able to controll myself and woke up again to help Hala start packing . We went out to buy a couple of stuff and planned her last days in Sweden and of course at last but not at least we had our girl’s night in as we almost everyday have at Batoul’s our angel.

Sara trusted me with food today, such a cutie never gives up on me. She really believed that I could be responsible of taking care of the food, she ended up saving the day with cheese.  This day has been really good I got to spend the day with my favorite people – one I didn’t have the chance to see giddo today.

It has been a good day, a day that made me feel proud, happy and coLd! =D

Nomatter how hard I try I still find myself  stuck in a vicious circle. I probably knew deep inside that I was pathetic and that I lacked common sense, but I confirmed the reality of my stupidity. There’s this saying that says “ A donkey keeps on hitting his head into the same wall several times” At least a donkey stops hitting his head after a hedache but I have a whiole different story.

I can’t believe that I actually almost went there, thank God that I turned back halfway. I’m not going to do this to myself anymore, I’m not letting things go this far, I’m not going for something I know I don’t want. All that energy should go to things that I want instead of wasting it on nothing.

I’ve been hearing alot about how I’ve changed from a certain person about how peoples opinions of me started to matter and somehow started to controll me in one way or another. That friend was right I did change, I grew up. Like every adult I started thinking what propper manners ment and how to present myself but still tried to keep myself from changing to much.

The old me who loved playing soccer, never cared of how loud she spoke, kicked as when needed was gone. The sad part is that I was denying the fact that I no longer was that person. I don’t fully regret changing I just hate the fact that I no longer could get myself to take chances, becaue of the fear of getting hurt both phisically and mentally. Or thats what I thought . Because everyday that passed by made me weaker in both areas.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while now how I haven’t really been myself, how I want to play any sport just to graze my knees the way I used to when I was a child. I had a great day with Hala taking pictures, just having fun for once and suddenly it was there the opportunity to run as fast as I wanted to se myself  lying down on the ground with soooo much pain.

My left shoulder, my hands and my knees was killing me, all parts was bleeding and grazed and the pain was unbearable, but I still felt it. Such a kick I got exactly what I wanted and needed. I don’t mean that I always want to hurt myself no, I just felt like the clumzy me again who could even stumble because of her pair of jeans and that’s reasuring somehow.

Im still inpain but you know what it was totally worth it! One thing that hasn’t changed the thing that I actually like with myself  is that I  don’t change my beliefs and I fight for them no matter what people say or do. Ow Yeah and let’s not forget the fact that I have kept my crazy nature nomatter what

I had this assigment at school yesterday and apart of the work was to interview people to ask of their opinion about Magus Åbergsgymnasiet. It was a great deal of fun asking people of how they see my highschool, but the part that really made me laugh, like honestly laugh from the depth of my heart was the answers I got from two students whom I knew hated my school. I mean I always new they were ehm… special? But god the hypocrisy!

One of them started talking about how all of the girls in that school wears to much make up and guess what? The one who said that, had so much make up to make you believe that she was a painting and the other one, dear o mine.! The other one was talking about how her highschool or to say the highschool she graduated from last year is the one that gives  a future unlike Magus Åbergsgymnasiet, but my question is, if she really had that  future why was she still stuck in the past hanging at her old highschool when she should’ve been out their living her great future! 

It’s actually understandable to miss the place you’ve spent three years growing up at, and it’s more than okay to visit that place everyday if it makes you happy. Just make sure to not miss the future while hanging on to your past, and then even badmouth Magus Åbergsgymnasiet  saying that the students their has no future!

Please a student from Magus Åbergsgymnasiet got a job offer right after gratuating highchool in HOLLYWOOD and I’m not talking about an acting job but a real job in graphic design wich he had studied in this so called” Futureless school” and he’s one of many that I know to have started building a future with help from the lugage they got from Magus Åbergsgymnasiet!! I have to admit it though Nisse is a great highschool never boring if you befriend the right people and always giving knowledge if you pay attention.! 

I hope you all have a great Eid, remember me in your duaa!! Don’t miss the chance of spendig these three days with your loved ones. Put every grudge aside, forgive and forget and just enjoy this holiday. I mean just untill it’s over

Hala is  vacuming , Ali rida and Hajdar  are going crazy, Sara is trying to calm them down and Batoul is preparing for dinner.  I’m sitting infront of the computer in the living room among all this crazyness, writing while waiting for al iftar and waiting to experience laylat al-qadr for the first time . Laylat al-qadr means the night of your destiny,  that night is when this year destiny’s are written.  It’s also a night of opportunities, because we get the opportunity to ask for what we desire to night, for what we hope to happen and hopefully our prayers will be heard.

This night is not only ment for muslims but for all pure souls and hearts, so ask God for forgiveness, health and wealth for yourselves and you’re friends and families. I myself will do that together with my 3 crazy systers Batoul, Sara and Hala all night! God bless ya !…